![]() Of course, some people go through unspeakable experiences that most people on the planet cannot fathom. That we choose whether we’re happy, angry, or sad. This echoes what the Stoics were also teaching – that we are in control of our destinies. If we admit that, then it follows that we choose what goes on in our minds and subsequently in our daily lives instead of mindlessly reacting to what happens. Adler believed that we have complete agency over our thoughts and feelings. Freud assumed most of our adult lives are spent trying to fight and overcome our past limiting beliefs. It contradicts everything Freud preached: that we’re controlled by our past experiences that cause our current unhappiness. You choose an emotion or behavior to achieve a present goal. You don’t think about past causes you think about present goals. In the Adlerian worldview, the past doesn’t matter. Im glücklichen Hafen (In the Happy Harbour) by Wassily Kandinsky, 1923, via Christie’s. So, it’s better to stay home and not risk feeling unwanted emotions. Possibly, the man will find out that he’s average, that nobody will like him. Why? Because possibly he’ll have to face the uncertainty of being out there, facing the mass. The philosopher asserts that the person creates fear and anxiety so he can stay inside. Adler conveys an example of a person that doesn’t want to step out of his house due to anxiety and fear filling him up every time he steps outside. In other words, he claims that one doesn’t suffer from the shock of their experience (the trauma), but that we feel that way because that was our goal in the first place. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.” “We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences-the so-called trauma-but instead, we make whatever suits our purposes out of them. This assertion goes against what most of us learn at university and possibly negates many people’s experiences. Instead, we choose how traumas affect our present or future lives. Throughout the book, they debate whether happiness is something that happens to you or something that you create for yourself.Īlfred Adler believed that our past traumas don’t define our future. The Courage to be Disliked follows a (Socratic) dialogue between a philosopher/teacher and a young man. Alfred Adler: Trauma Doesn’t Influence Our Future Portrait of Alfred Adler, 1929, via the Internet ArchiveĪdlerian psychology (or individual psychology as it’s often referred to) offers a refreshing perspective and insights into interpersonal relationships, fear, and trauma.
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